Ok- I'm soooo ready to meet Joy!!! I have been thinking about what I will do to celebrate her arrival.
There's Gotcha Day- http://www.beliefnet.com/Love-Family/Parenting/2000/06/Gotcha-Day.aspx which is a beautiful and simple ceremony marking the arrival of her in what will then be our home. Definitely invites to my parents, sisters, nieces, other mothers and bff's in addition to the social workers and recruiter and those she wants to have there as well. Some people say that it's more appropriate for the day that adoption is finalized but I've been thinking about something else.
There's a possibility that we will meet by Spring Break- I'm so excited about that! I don't know if that will be for pre-placement visits or her coming to live here until adoption is finalized. I know that an interview with both of us is part of the homestudy- I just don't know when that will be- before, during, or after training. So I thought- we could do a yearly M2-Daughter weekend trip to commemorate- til Drea laughed at my idea and reminded me that when she's in college sihe will want to do spring break with her friends not her M2. Hmmm - 1st I never went anywhere for college spring break & 2nd I worked 16 yrs and barely went anywhere during those spring breaks either LOL But the good thing is that our spring breaks will only coincide the first year while she's a senior in HS but college is before K-12 so shouldn't be a problem :-)
Then I've been thinking about a gift. Probably a piece of jewelry engraved with something significant- like the name of this blog :-) Something that both of us that can have as a daily tangible reminder.
Of course we can take pictures but that's a given.
Or dinner and movies- definitely a given- more than likely a weekly event LOL
I just hope and pray that all goes well and that all things work out for the common good.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Joy's New Identity
Yesterday I was doing research as to what are some of the legalities that take place after an adoption- what things will change. I learned two things that gave me another perspective on what adoption means not only legally but biblically from which the desire to adopt is seared into my heart.
When the adoption is completed, Joy will have a new birth certificate and a new last name.
I'm floored to think how this compares to our spiritual adoption by God. When we believe in Jesus for our salvation and accept Him as our Savior we are considered to be born again and that day marks our spiritual birth date. Not only do we now bear His name- Christian- but we are also adopted into the family of God. He promises to give us a new name written on a white stone in the New Jerusalem, when there will be a new heaven and new earth- the city of our God (Revelation 3). What that name is only He knows but I know that it is one I will be looking forward to hearing.
My heart truly began to beat faster when I realized that - my name will be on her birth certificate as her Mother. She will have a new last name- mine. I totally didn't expect that. I didn't expect her to call me Mommy since she had a relationship with her biological parents. I thought more like Tiff - I would be her M2- Mommy #2. She will become my Daughter - not born of the flesh but in my heart by His Spirit. It's the beginning of a new life, not physically but spiritually and relationally. Like Nicodemus, asking Jesus how can a man be born again since he can't enter back into his mother's womb? Legalistic thinking makes us believe that if things are not done a certain way that is acceptable by the law, then how can it be? Jesus said that if a man is not born again he can not enter the kingdom of God.
This journey into single motherhood means that I am not going the legalistic, expected route of marriage then children. Not that I don't want to be married- but my maternal instinct really doesn't have a timetable- something I have known forever. Neither does it mean that I don't want my children to have a father in their lives- I believe a male influence is priceless. I am a role model and a mother figure to so many others. I have had student mentees ever since my first year teaching- Steph, Saina, Lyndsey, Tiff, and One-sha. Each have been significant long term relationships that are still a part of my life. I have 6 godchildren, 3 nieces, and 1 brand new nephew. I take care of the most amazing 1 yr old who lights up my day everyday.
This then is a natural progression- I've been an "other/second" mother for 17 1/2 years- now I'm ready to be Joy's mother for the rest of her life. It's like she was planted in my heart back then and we are finally meeting. If her birthday is May 1994, then she would have been conceived Aug 1993- my first year teaching. WOW!
All I can say is that God is in this and I'm gonna step aside and watch Him unfold things before me.
When the adoption is completed, Joy will have a new birth certificate and a new last name.
I'm floored to think how this compares to our spiritual adoption by God. When we believe in Jesus for our salvation and accept Him as our Savior we are considered to be born again and that day marks our spiritual birth date. Not only do we now bear His name- Christian- but we are also adopted into the family of God. He promises to give us a new name written on a white stone in the New Jerusalem, when there will be a new heaven and new earth- the city of our God (Revelation 3). What that name is only He knows but I know that it is one I will be looking forward to hearing.
My heart truly began to beat faster when I realized that - my name will be on her birth certificate as her Mother. She will have a new last name- mine. I totally didn't expect that. I didn't expect her to call me Mommy since she had a relationship with her biological parents. I thought more like Tiff - I would be her M2- Mommy #2. She will become my Daughter - not born of the flesh but in my heart by His Spirit. It's the beginning of a new life, not physically but spiritually and relationally. Like Nicodemus, asking Jesus how can a man be born again since he can't enter back into his mother's womb? Legalistic thinking makes us believe that if things are not done a certain way that is acceptable by the law, then how can it be? Jesus said that if a man is not born again he can not enter the kingdom of God.
This journey into single motherhood means that I am not going the legalistic, expected route of marriage then children. Not that I don't want to be married- but my maternal instinct really doesn't have a timetable- something I have known forever. Neither does it mean that I don't want my children to have a father in their lives- I believe a male influence is priceless. I am a role model and a mother figure to so many others. I have had student mentees ever since my first year teaching- Steph, Saina, Lyndsey, Tiff, and One-sha. Each have been significant long term relationships that are still a part of my life. I have 6 godchildren, 3 nieces, and 1 brand new nephew. I take care of the most amazing 1 yr old who lights up my day everyday.
This then is a natural progression- I've been an "other/second" mother for 17 1/2 years- now I'm ready to be Joy's mother for the rest of her life. It's like she was planted in my heart back then and we are finally meeting. If her birthday is May 1994, then she would have been conceived Aug 1993- my first year teaching. WOW!
All I can say is that God is in this and I'm gonna step aside and watch Him unfold things before me.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
The Day I Found Joy & Knew It
12/3/10- I woke up at 7 p.m. from a nap & checked my missed calls. Mel had called and since we don't speak often (though we live no less than 30 minutes from each other- but busy- work family etc). We talked about a position she thought I would be interested in and I sent her my resume. I then asked her about her new job - little did I know that would be the beginning of this journey.
My mother has suggested it, so has my bff Nikki, but I've always said- how? why now? I'm single & if I wanted to do it alone I could have already done it etc etc - excuses excuses. I did the Guardian Ad Litem training in the beginning of the year and knew that I would welcome the oppty to work with children in the foster care system but hadn't given it much further thought.
But it's amazing how clarity will come when you least expect it and be a blinding light pointing you in the only direction you can go without stumbling to see in the dark. I went to the CHS website and did a search for black female. Joy was the first child to come up & I immediately knew- she's the one. I felt that Destiny had finally met Purpose and her name means Joy. My heart just swells at the realization that God has brought me full circle and we both will get a second chance to have the family we desire.I will be the mother God has for her and she will be the daughter God has for me.
Quick info- she's a teen, a junior in HS, an only child, and both of her parents are deceased. She wants to be a nurse to help others and would like a tarantula (LOL) She likes to read, go to bookstores, watch movies, go out to dinner, hang at the mall, be on the computer, and travel. Did I really just meet a mini-me? LOL
So the past two weeks have been a whirlwind since I began the process once I submitted the interest form after watching her video, had a phone interview with her recruiter 12/9, and mailed my application today. Her recruiter said that she would be sure to follow my application as a priority to be sure I get a SW in Charlotte asap and we could get me trained and ready for preplacement visits by Spring Break. She told Joy someone asked about her and she's excited. I'm excited too because if this is what this 'Charlotte experience' has been about- to be here for this child at this unlikely time in my life? Then it's totally worth it!!!!! Priceless I say- nothing can compare to the Joy set before me. I look forward to welcoming her to my life and home cause she already has a place in my heart.
So I wholeheartedly say 'YES!!!!!' to You Lord,Your will and Your way, denying myself, picking up my cross, and following You until this Destiny is fulfilled. Trusting and believing that You have already gone before me and made the pathway clear.
My mother has suggested it, so has my bff Nikki, but I've always said- how? why now? I'm single & if I wanted to do it alone I could have already done it etc etc - excuses excuses. I did the Guardian Ad Litem training in the beginning of the year and knew that I would welcome the oppty to work with children in the foster care system but hadn't given it much further thought.
But it's amazing how clarity will come when you least expect it and be a blinding light pointing you in the only direction you can go without stumbling to see in the dark. I went to the CHS website and did a search for black female. Joy was the first child to come up & I immediately knew- she's the one. I felt that Destiny had finally met Purpose and her name means Joy. My heart just swells at the realization that God has brought me full circle and we both will get a second chance to have the family we desire.I will be the mother God has for her and she will be the daughter God has for me.
Quick info- she's a teen, a junior in HS, an only child, and both of her parents are deceased. She wants to be a nurse to help others and would like a tarantula (LOL) She likes to read, go to bookstores, watch movies, go out to dinner, hang at the mall, be on the computer, and travel. Did I really just meet a mini-me? LOL
So the past two weeks have been a whirlwind since I began the process once I submitted the interest form after watching her video, had a phone interview with her recruiter 12/9, and mailed my application today. Her recruiter said that she would be sure to follow my application as a priority to be sure I get a SW in Charlotte asap and we could get me trained and ready for preplacement visits by Spring Break. She told Joy someone asked about her and she's excited. I'm excited too because if this is what this 'Charlotte experience' has been about- to be here for this child at this unlikely time in my life? Then it's totally worth it!!!!! Priceless I say- nothing can compare to the Joy set before me. I look forward to welcoming her to my life and home cause she already has a place in my heart.
So I wholeheartedly say 'YES!!!!!' to You Lord,Your will and Your way, denying myself, picking up my cross, and following You until this Destiny is fulfilled. Trusting and believing that You have already gone before me and made the pathway clear.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)